You may be wondering what this site is all about. You may be here with a reason, either to refute me every step of the way (Bring It) or to cheer me over the finish line (I'd suggest making yourself comfortable). You may have been attempting to access some other website, perhaps one about puppies, but have found yourself here, with me, once again embroiled in a socio-religious debate, the kind that inevitably climaxed with its pimply participants pointing fingers at each other and howling "You're Wrong!" in 9th grade home economics class.
Regardless of why you ended up here, you are here now, still reading, perhaps thinking, because you have some interest in the subject matter, which is (drum roll) The Bible!
I myself have always had a limited amount of patience for The Bible, due in large part to some of its more fervently lunatic followers and their attempts to brand their interpretation as the correct interpretation and everyone else's as the whisperings of Satan. The Bible itself is, admittedly, quite a piece of work. I understand more so now than I did in the 9th grade that it has indeed been the port to launch a thousand ships of faith. That said, it is such a huge, and hugely convoluted, story, that putting any one particular spin on it and branding that as the only way to see it STILL does not make sense to me. Until, of course, you account for the fact that we're talking about humans. Humans that like to be right, and be in control, and be looked up to, and be wealthy, no matter the cost to their fellow humans. Yes, indeed, even The Bible has fallen victim to interpretations that favor one individual over another based solely upon what the first individual claims to be plainly evident on page 743. Whether the second individual has the same understanding, or has ever seen a The Bible before, really doesn't matter so long as the first person has lawyers, guns and money on their side.
One point that has been volleyed back and forth over the years is whether or not the Bible is truly the Word of God. I don't really think it matters. Sure, why not? Word of God, interpreted by Man, written down by Man, translated by Man, reinterpreted by Man, retranslated by Man, edited and reorganized by Man, translated again by Man, and delivered unto you, whole, absolute, and totally impartial to any of the personal convictions of its many editors and translators. When someone reads a passage that does not make sense to them, do they ask God to explain what He meant? Usually not. They ask...(wait for it)... another Man, wanting his interpretation of what God could have possibly meant.
On the top ten list of my Favorite Recent Developments is the fact that Conservapedia is busily retranslating and re-editing The Bible (again) with the intention of emphasizing what they deem it's obvious free-market sensibilities and establishing a "Framework against Liberal Bias".
Huh?
Apparently The Bible is too liberal and too people-friendly for the modern American Conservative. Too many queers, not enough stoning. Jesus is wearing a dress, for Christ's sake! This has Got to Stop!
But seriously, they plan on actually removing whole passages that speak to the compassionate nature of Jesus Christ because, in their words, these are "interpolated passages that liberals put their own spin on". It's not okay that Jesus was a nice guy, because nice guys are pussies. If Conservapedia had their way, Jesus would've been played by Arnold "Juggy-Grabbin'" Schwarzenegger, and he didn't chase the money lenders out of the temple so much as Crush their Skulls and use their limp bodies to beat the rest of them to an oozing, bloody pulp.
But this got me thinking; if they can rewrite the Bible to meet their own bizarre (and bizarrely unfriendly) ideas of what it should and should not include, so can I! Ding ding ding ding!
And so, Conservapedia, I see your stoning and raise you a casting of lots. The main difference between you and I, besides our genders, religious background, and general taste in popular musical trends, is that you are operating in earnest, and I am operating out of sheer pleasure. So let's get it ON!
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